I am an ultra-competitive person. My wife knows that. My siblings know that. Even my boss knows that.
I am "that guy" who turns a game of Uno into a figurative crime scene because it is just not in my nature to lose. I cannot tell you how many tee ball and midget football games I have stormed away from because my team did not end up in the win column. Not finishing first in those timed math tables that you were given in first grade was the worst - I'd be furious if I didn't come in first place. On those days, even at such an early age, my mom would get so upset at me because I was being a bad example to the other children about behaving badly in defeat. Her sentiments would always be, "son, don't be a sore loser."
But lets be honest... is there any other way to lose but sorely?! Its especially worse if you know that you had just a little more in the gas tank to give for the effort.
Yes, my highly-developed competitive edge has gotten me into trouble. I've been labeled by some as a hothead (which I am definitely not), and I have been too competitive at times when I should not be at all. But I know that being competitive has helped me succeed in the areas that I have because of my refusal to be second place. And now that I am exactly 350 days from 30 years old (but who is counting?), I realize that my only competition in life is myself, and that is who I should hold the measuring stick up to.
Let me explain...
Have you ever heard of or seen a parent telling their children, "You can be anything you want to be!" Sure you have - your parent(s) probably told that to you. But I must say that this ideology is flawed at best. To be honest, I cannot be everything I want to be. I believe that each person is given gifts to help that be good at something but it may not be what we want. I would love to play in the National Football League... but I know that that being only 5'10" and xxx lbs (yes, those "xxx"s are there on purpose!) I couldn't. But there are people who are born with talents to allow them to be great football players, pianists, singers, writers, etc. I think it is obvious what LeBron James was born to do, William Shakespeare, or Albert Einstein.
You might be thinking, "man, this guy is a real Debbie Downer, but hear me out. It is perfectly fine to have heroes such as the people listed above, but the only person you have to compete against is your best self. One part of competition that I always felt was rewarding was knowing that if I was prepared and gave it everything I had there was no reason to hang my head. There were times in which I lost a wrestling match because someone was better than me. After leaving the mat, I was somewhat disappointed (and usually in pain); but if I knew that I had given my all in practice and fought my hardest during the mat, I was a winner in my book.
So how do you compete with youself? Here are some things to keep in mind...
- Be the person you say you are. If you say that you are the top salesperson, act like it. Do you say you are the hardest worker on the team? Then prove it.
- Set SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound.
- Seek feedback from people you trust. Someone else's opinion on who you are and what they think you can do can help build the foundation for setting your SMART goals.
- Work at it constantly. Do not try to take a day off from competing with yourself. Utilize your time and resources wisely.
- Honestly evaluate yourself. If you're not cutting the mustard, you may want to re-examine your priorities.
- Make sure you do not have any regrets. There nothing worse than living in the past, knowing that you could have done better on that test, or committed yourself to that job more, or treated someone better than what you did.
No comments:
Post a Comment